Welcome to The Inner Peace Zone

Welcome to The Inner Peace Zone. The Inner Peace Zone is my diary of my poetry and other self-expressions. All the pictures on the blog are self-photography unless where stated otherwise. Any resemblance to any picture on the web is pure coincidence. I hope you enjoy reading The Inner Peace Zone. Love & Peace, Rosy Kaur

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The Love Child

They say I am just a leaf But I tell you, it is my belief... That I am The Love Child of my Universe You see, Sun - my father, never ...

Healing Myself - 12. My Teachers – Part 2

12.  My Teachers – Part 2

I was enjoying my singing at the Church very much. But the new teachers had already arrived and it was time for a new lesson.  But I could not see the political restlessness that was building up because I was totally immersed in the bliss of singing and did not see the storms building up above the water.  Also, these new teachers were not going to deliver the lessons with tenderness and respect like the music teacher.

When I did realize that I was becoming the target of jealousy and hatred, I was confused with the dilemma within, of whether to give up the service or not.  As per my conditioning, giving up service at a holy place was considered harmful for the soul.  So I was caught up in the right and wrong and was afraid of giving up the service.  As a result the politicians now had to use a harsh back-stabbing kind of tactic to remove me from the altar.

I felt humiliated, hurt, harassed, abused and rejected. At first, nothing was clear to me; as I kept asking myself why ...did this happen to me. It was also the time when I learnt that my x had died 6 years ago, and this information had been withheld from me by my near and dear ones, in the name of protecting me.  I felt betrayed by the family too. I had had a major eye surgery so physically I was weak and once again in life, I felt emotionally and physically broken and all alone in the world.

So many lessons, all at once; I felt under attack (as it so appears in my dreams). When the initial shock was over, I realized I had to heal myself again. I began to search newer healing techniques this time, since what I already knew was no longer working out. So, I purchased a guided meditation; which I listened to roughly six hours a day…and so the journey changed from having been a victim whole life to someone on therapy.

For three years, I did about ten meditations a day lasting up to 4 to 5 hours daily, and received my answer to this episode of rejection and humiliation at the Church. Now, I can see that the Existence was removing me from the organized religion and thrusting me into the spirituality at large. I now know that it was not a tragedy, but a blessing. The Universe has shown me that one does not need to sit in a particular building to worship God. That one does not need to sit under a particular tree to worship God. That worship is an internal process, done at the core of your being. That everything from, micro-organism to the macro organism is Existence. That everything visible and invisible to human eye is Existence. That my Teachers are not only the people who were teaching me lovingly, but also all those who gave me challenges, who pushed my buttons.

I now know that worship is not a morning or an evening routine. Worship is the whole existence of our being. Even tooth-brushing can be worship, if done with an awareness of being connected with the Existence. Even play, dance, household chores, office work – all is worship.

I feel all my Teachers have done well in delivering their lessons. Other affectionate Teachers also came: George taught me to take off the glasses of “Conditioning” and see the Existence with bare eyes; Tom taught me “Trust in the Universe”; Jerry taught me the “Power of Humour” – and not to take life too seriously; Tanya taught me “Resilience”.

Life has brought other challenges since then, and other Teachers too. But this time round I knew what was happening so was able to go through the experiences with an enlightened perspective. Now, when challenges come, I feel the emotions of pain and turmoil separate from who is doing what to me. I feel the sadness without judgment towards ‘them’. Of course, I cry. Of course, I hurt. But this time round I am not bitter. This time round, I know Existence has brought a negative situation to bring a positive change into my life for my greater spiritual good. This time round I know that my real Teacher behind the curtain is “Existence” itself. So, I welcome the Teacher, of course with a prayer to Existence to teach me with tenderness.  I welcome the positive change, I am the change!
Love & Peace ~Rosy Kaur. 15.09.2011
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